Author Ann Lamott talks about her fear that someday she will be out and about and something will happen to her. People will then go to her house and find the rough draft that she had written and will see what a truly horrendous writer she really is — she wants people to know about the “shitty rough draft” and THAT is what is going to be sitting on her desk.

OK, I am about to tell you about one of my “SFDs” that has to do with decorating my house. I also have plenty of those weird things that new homeowners find when inspecting the previous owners’ home improvement projects. I’m not explaining those, however, since I am not yet selling my house.

But let’s mention a few decorating things, and the biggest one is the presence of the Ruff Rugs.

I have three dogs: a tiny mini pin that pretty much runs the entire house, a smallish painfully shy beagle, and a very laid back but large chocolate lab. The Ruff Rugs are because of the lab.

The first rug placed because of the lab is on the floor in front of my fridge. It is kind of near a door, so it’s presence doesn’t raise too many suspicions, which is good because just about everyone would see it.

The rug is in front of the fridge because whenever any noise outside or knock on our door causes the dogs to go rushing in that direction, our lab needed to go around our fridge. And the floor in front of the fridge is wood (OK, wood laminate), and the poor dog’s size and speed combined to send him on unintended slides. His back legs would go out from under him, and he would wipe out.

The first time, I may have laughed. But it wasn’t long before the poor dog was limping because he hurt his leg during one of these rushes around the fridge. This did not stop the rushes, but it made it wasn’t funny anymore. So I bought a rug and put it in front of my fridge. I can’t move it from that location because the dog NEEDS it.

The lab is also the reason for the second Ruff Rug in our house. This one is a brown shag rug like the one pictured above. It is placed at the end of a hallway in between two bedroom doors. This rug looks really out of place.

That is, until the lab (and more recently the beagle) take a nap on it.

Our lab used to sleep on the floor of our bedroom. This changed when we replaced the carpet with wood floors (OK, again laminate). He made too much noise with his nails clicking on the floor, so he was shut out of our room.

Don’t feel too sorry for him. He happily joined my children in their twin beds, and I’ve been told he takes up less space than the mini pin because he doesn’t bite or growl when they try to move him.

In the morning, however, he will come down the stairs and to our bedroom door.

When he had access to my room, he would set his head on my bed near my face and slowly apply downward pressure on the bed until I woke up looking into his big brown eyes. It would just be his head that would be on our bed, and he never did this on my husband’s side of the bed. I’d then get up and let him outside.

With the door closed, the slow head approach couldn’t work. He would pace outside our door, his nails clicking until he figured out the perfect position upon which he would throw himself onto the floor.

This was a LOUD process. And it would happen around 5:30 a.m. every morning, which is about the time my husband gets up on the weekdays. It is NOT the time we wanted to get up on the weekends.

To help eliminate some of the noise, I placed the shaggy brown rug at the end of the hall. It eliminates some of the noise, although the odds are pretty good that some portion of Zeus will still hit the door when he collapses onto the floor for a nap.

With summer arriving, the end of the hall is a cool place that the beagle has discovered as well. The two now take turns on the rug although Zeus still claims the space in the morning.

And that is why I have throw rugs in weird places in my home. You are welcome.

Do you remember that we have a very tiny GIRL dog and a very BIG boy dog?

I think the girl dog (who isn’t even a year old yet) is in heat. I say this because the boy dog has gone NUTS. He will not leave her alone. He licks her and pushes her with his nose, practically lifting her up off all of her paws. He chases her around the house. He wants to be as close to her as possible.

And I have had to banish him to the outside.

This is only slightly less annoying. He is just outside the window looking in, and the girl dog is just inside the window looking out. He is whining, she just wonders why her friend can’t come in.

In case you forgot, I am sharing a photo of the two dogs. She is slightly larger now, but she is still smaller than his head. I am going to have to check into rates for getting him fixed….