Sherwood Family 2011
In back we have Steve and Linda (me). In the front row, the children are arranged in birth order (L to R): Autumn (17), Amanda (16), Maxine (14) and Justin (12). Also pictured are two of our three dogs: Lily (the black minipin) and Zeus (the giant chocolate lab). Not pictured: Spike (the beagle) because he would have run away, and we didn’t want to lose him. 
My middle daughter has a problem lying convincingly. She cannot keep a straight face while lying. As her mother, I appreciate this trait.
Today, we were watching the Ellen show, and they were mentioning their upcoming guests. They showed Wanda Sykes’ photo, and my daughter said, “Hey, I know her.”
Me: I know her too. Wanda Sykes.
My oldest daughter: You know her personally?
My middle daughter: Yeah! She came to my last birthday party. She was like “Hey Amanda,” and I was like “Hey Rhonda.”
Me: Do you mean Wanda?
My middle daughter: Oh I call her Rhonda, and she calls me Mandy. We’re close like that.
And then she collapsed on the couch laughing and couldn’t stop laughing because she lied and failed so miserably.
Hey Rhonda!
So when Wanda came out, Ellen introduced her as the funniest person she knows. I asked Amanda (my middle child) if she was the funniest person as well, and Amanda said, Oh yeah, Rhonda’s funny.
Then when Ellen talked to Wanda, Amanda was yelling at the TV correcting her: It’s Wanda, Ellen. I mean Rhonda.
Did my mom really mean to like, 'Hot Video: Teacher from Behind'? I don't think so.
I’m so embarrassing! I know. How horrible for them.
Except, this wasn’t a matter of them having a fun private party and all of a sudden mom arrives and ruins it by embarrassing them. It was more like I was having a fun private party and then my children became old enough to want a facebook profile and suddenly, I find that not only are my teenagers talking back to me in the privacy of my own home but also on my facebook profile (and blog comments, too).
Oh joyous parenting of the twenty-first century, who knew?
That’s right. My children are friends with their mom on facebook. They are also friends with their dad on facebook, but he doesn’t update his status and rarely posts anything on their walls, so he is OK but MOM? She’s horrible.
And I’m OK with that because I think part of my parenting job is to stick my nose into my children’s business, and after years working as a reporter, I have the skills and know-how to do it right. I read text messages. I read email. I confiscate computers and phones and read random texts and instant messages. I also read every single folded up note that I find anywhere in my home.
My children do have the option to not allow me access to their accounts and various electronic devices, and at the moment my children exercise this right, they lose the internet and phone and/or iPod/mp3 or whatever device it may be.
Why? Because I am the parent and the wallet that pays for these things.
So, it amuses me to no end when I see something in real life or a TV show that makes it seem like it is difficult for a parent to do something about a child’s electronic usage.
I just watched a DVR’d episode of Working Class, which is a new CMT comedy show. The mother was begging her son to accept her facebook friend request. This isn’t optional. Why would any parent think it was? How do your kids get on facebook to begin with? Mom brings internet into the home, and Mom can take the internet away from you.
And for the most part, my kids don’t mind being my facebook friend. I try to offer them good advice. For instance, when one of them unknowingly suggested that they worked as a “slang word here,” I let the child know that the slang word they had chosen has a meaning that they weren’t aware of. Luckily, none of the child’s friends seemed to know the meaning either. Tragedy avoided. You’re welcome.
But when it came to my own mother on facebook? Why would I want that? But luckily, my mom is not computer savvy. In fact, she is a bit technologically challenged in that still to this day, she cannot set the clock on a VCR and frankly, that technology is so old that no one even has VCRs.
But my sister in all her wisdom created a facebook profile for my mom. Or maybe it was my niece. I just know that it was the relatives in Arizona. And to make things simple, they did it by doing all of the hard work and then just letting my mom know her username and password and then walking her through the steps to help her log in.
For a while, I was worried, but pretty soon, my mom’s computer wasn’t working, and she didn’t know how to get it to work, and she forgot about that facebook thing. But lately, facebook has been creeping into conversations. Did you see the cakes Shawn made? Or the javalina Chuck shot? What about the color of Jazmin’s new room? Eva’s latest pics? Maxine’s new dress? Oh, so and so posted them on facebook. When you go to Linda’s house, have her show you….
And my mom became interested in the internet again. My sister in Arizona (she is the one that starts all the trouble) convinced my mom that a laptop was the answer. It was portable, which meant if she couldn’t get it to work, she could easily bring it to her reluctant computer repairman (aka me) rather than wait until the next time Linda shows up in Grayling with time to fix the computer.
This is all a long story to say, “My mom’s on facebook.” That, of course, is code for, “My mom is on facebook, and she doesn’t know what she is doing, so she does weird embarrassing things and please know that I’m pretty sure she didn’t really mean to like the link about the teacher’s bottom, and I suspect it is really spam that automatically posts to your page when you click the link, and this means I no longer have to wonder about what the heck my cousin was thinking — and that it really had been a long time since I’d last talked to him and boy people must change — when he posted those same links to his page.”
Isn’t it simpler to say, “My mom’s on facebook.” And who knew that you could be mortified by your mother when you are almost 40? I thought it was a teen thing. Apparently not. At least, I know that I am not alone. Chances are your mother is on facebook too.
When the kids were little, they were smaller and friendlier to each other, but I knew one bathroom wouldn't be enough.
Luckily, it became a reality just in time. What I didn’t realize, however, was that two wasn’t really enough.
The new bathroom was smaller with only one sink, and the oldest child made it her own. It didn’t take long before the other three children didn’t even bother trying to share with her. The oldest is not the friendliest person in the morning, and she is a bit of a mirror hog.
This left the two younger girls doing battle in the other bathroom. There were two sinks and more elbow room around a larger mirror. But the boy wanted to use the new bathroom as well, and he frequently had to fight for sink space.
When hair straighteners became part of the morning routine, the double-sink bathroom wasn’t big enough. The plug-in was just on one side, so the two girls would battle as their cords tangled and elbows collided.
And then my work schedule became one where I also needed mirror time in the morning. With the old bathroom already fulfilling the needs of three children, I ventured into the oldest’s lair. She wasn’t happy about it, but I didn’t have any problem claiming mirror and sink time. She might bite and growl at her siblings if they get in her way, but she isn’t big enough yet to challenge me.
Meanwhile, the middle daughter was not happy. Her younger siblings were driving her nuts as she tried to get ready in the morning. She ended up taking things into her own hands. She carved out a space for herself under our staircase, which is located between the two bathrooms. I bought a dresser for her, and she added her own touches including a very important full-length mirror (trimmed in orange — her favorite color).
Now mornings are easier. This morning it was even quiet for the longest time as the three girls went through their rather lengthy morning beauty routines in three separate spaces.
Oh that doesn’t mean there aren’t still scrimmages. There have been huge battles about eyeliner, but Santa brought each girl a brand new one, so battles about that have subsided for a bit.
And I have learned to adjust in other ways. It only took me about 3 years to figure out that I should probably check for important things like my razor, shampoo and conditioner BEFORE stepping into the shower. (OK, I still sometimes forget to check.) You would think that providing duplicates of these things in the other bathroom would mean that my things would stay in my bathroom. You would think wrong.
Just the other day, I went to shave and couldn’t find my razor. My razor has a storage case that keeps it accessible on the edge of our shower. But the case was empty. Wherever could MY razor be? It was hanging out in the other bathroom along with the dad’s razor and about 8 other various types of razors. Why were they all needed over there? I don’t know. I am not amused about it.
And although I have started buying the girls the expensive shampoo and conditioner that straightens hair, I still managed to have my own shampoo and conditioner come up missing yet again. Why?
I’m not sure I can figure out where to add a third bathroom to this house, but I am seriously considering walling off the door that gives public access to my bathroom and adding some kind of security pad lock system. Maybe that will help keep my razor, eyeliner, hair brush, shampoo, conditioner, mascara and hair dryer where they belong. Somehow, I doubt it. Sigh.
This was the question of a recent blog in the New York Times.
It seems like a straight-forward question, but it isn’t. There are a lot of factors that I believe should go into that answer.
A bad grade or even a fairly decent grade should be punished if the student has missing assignments. When there are missing assignments, this means the grade could have been higher. Even if the student has a B, the student is going to be punished for the missing assignments.
But if a student has done all of the work and still struggling, the student shouldn’t be punished (although some of the solutions to this problem can feel like punishment to the student). If this is the case, the parent needs to take time to work with the student or hire a tutor and also see if anything else is causing the problems (hearing/vision/bullying).
Bad grades due to bad behavior (skipping, not turning in work) should be punished, in my opinion.
My 2 cents.
