When I was pregnant with my oldest child, I remember feeling overwhelmed by the responsibility I was facing. I would have to care for this child I am carrying 24/7. I would have to bathe and clothe and feed this child because the child wouldn’t be able to do any of it.
Of course, I had my awesome husband to help me, but I still felt overwhelmed by the responsibility. With my belly expanding with my growing child, I took a good hard look at myself. I realized there were days that I frequently forgot to feed myself. How many plants had I killed because I forgot to water them? I was never going to be a good parent.
My baby arrived, and I never failed to feed her or change her or clothe her. The biggest difference between her and the plants? She had a voice, and she used it even before she used words to let me know she needed something from me.
Quicker than I ever realized, my helpless babies became independent. They moved away from me and started making their own decisions: good and bad decisions.
I am now at a parenting phase where it seems parenting is harder than I ever imagined. I am overwhelmed. I don’t know how I can be the parent I need to be for these children of mine. I wonder about where they are, where they will be and how I can help them find the best path if not always the easiest path.
I don’t know. I still have my awesome husband beside me to help me figure it out. And I hope that it turns out OK. My children are just so fragile. They seem so strong, but one wrong move can impact them for life. It’s scary.
On the news, I heard about one woman who is using her experience to try to change a law in Michigan. Her daughter died in a car accident; the family later learn the daughter, a new driver, was on her cell phone at the time of the accident. The mother is trying to get a law passed that will require new drivers (level 2 license in Michigan) not talk on phones when driving. And I can’t help but think not of lives this law will save but lives it will hurt.
When I was a child, an altercation at school would mean you went to the principal’s office and your parents were called. You were punished by the school, and you were punished by your parents. Today, when there is an altercation at school (or sometimes just an act of defiance against an authority figure), law enforcement is called before parents. In my children’s school, law enforcement officers are in the buildings as “school liasion officers.” What used to be a school and home matter is now escalated to a court and criminal matter.
This type of escalation ruins young lives.
I’m not saying that young drivers should be talking on the phone. What I’m saying is that there doesn’t need to be a law against it. There are other ways we can send that message and teach that lesson to our children than by legislation and criminal sanctions. Isn’t there?
