The Christmas Letter

My niece is going to hit me because despite her prodding, I am still not writing a *real* blog post. Instead, I want to share with all of you my Christmas letter. Without further ado, here it is:

Merry Christmas from the Sherwood Family!

2009 was a perfect year for the Sherwood family. You will be happy to know that everyone is fantastic and fabulous and perfect in every way. [Obviously, this is sarcasm.] And if you believe that, you don’t know us very well.

In actuality, 2009 brought a lot of challenges to us. Most particularly, I had to learn what it was like to be a single parent since Steve spent a large portion of 2009 traveling for work. [He is still working for Exterran out of Gaylord. It only took me a year to figure out how to pronounce the name of the company.] He traveled to West Virginia a couple of times and once to Kentucky and Indiana as well as having to stay a week away every month. This really interfered with his hunting schedule, but he did manage to still shoot a buck.

We have a house full of very cute girls, which means our house is excellent boy bait. [Surprisingly, the boys were not that discouraged by Steve hauling his rifle around the house.] More than once, boys rode their bicycles more than 13 miles one way (even through summer storms) to visit. Luckily, most of those boys have now turned 16 and traded in their bicycles for cars and have determined that gas is too expensive to be driving to Merritt just for the view. [And that it is too cold to ride their bikes.]

All of the children have been active in sports throughout the year. This means that Steve and I spend most of our money at Dunham’s Sports buying shoes and at the local doctor’s offices having various injuries attended to. [This means Linda and Steve have been “active” sitting on benches watching lots of games. At times, all four children have games at the same time in different cities. It makes scheduling a bit of a nightmare.]

At 15, Autumn has her level one driver’s license , [But she doesn’t have a cell phone, which bothers her to no end] which means she is already planning the vehicle she wants us to buy her right down to the stereo. In other words, she is a teenager, which means she is delusional. Autumn frequently reminds me that she has just “three more years,” and she is out of here. There are days I think this is a bad thing, and there are other days (when Autumn and I have engaged in quite a bit of verbal sparring) when I think three years are way too long. [Not really, but it is good for a laugh.] Autumn sprained her ankle at her second basketball game, so she is on crutches.

Amanda, 14, is also recovering from an injury to her knee, but she isn’t letting it stop her from playing basketball. In between practicing free throws, Amanda’s basketball coach is working on Amanda’s pitching skills in preparation for the upcoming softball season. [Amanda does have a cell phone but Autumn is convinced that now that Amanda is 14, she will soon prove unreliable and will lose the phone as well.] After spending most of her softball years playing catcher and shortstop, Amanda surprised everyone with her prowess at the pitching mound. She expects to pitch quite a bit this upcoming season. One of Amanda’s favorite activities is playing her trumpet inches from her slumbering siblings’ ears in order to wake them up. [Obviously, this is NOT her siblings favorite things.]

It turns out that despite being 12 years old, Maxine still thinks she can cut her own hair. She loves her new contacts, and she doesn’t let her “fun size” stop her from aggressive play on the basketball court. [She even made the A team!] Even more important, Maxine shot her first deer. She took down a nice sized doe with a single shot on opening morning of the youth hunt. [And it was pure agony for her to wait a half hour before tracking the deer. We found it not far from where she shot it, and it was a perfectly placed shot.] She spotted the doe as it began getting light out, and she had a hard time waiting for full light , and there was no way she wanted to wait for a buck to show up. Patience is not one of her virtues.

Justin’s name was engraved on a plaque in the Houghton Lake Middle School after he won the fourth-grade spelling bee in May. [In the audience, his mother was more nervous than he was – the last two contestants spelled 17 words before the runner-up misheard the word making Justin the victor.] This is about the same time he decided to try playing with fire by burning toilet paper. The bathroom rug ended up with a few scorch marks and a nearby bottom became quite red as a result – I’ll let you figure that one out. Despite the influence of his sisters, Justin has finally decided to act like a boy. [This means he tends to avoid baths and thinks nothing of wearing the same clothes for days in a row.] Despite his bathing habits, he has managed to snare a girlfriend or two.

It seems I made the switch from journalist to college instructor at the right moment. The last paper I worked for before becoming a teacher closed despite a 120 year history. [It really wasn’t because I left.] I love my job at Ferris State University, and I continue to teach for Baker College Online as well. [You can’t beat a job that lets you work from home while wearing your pajamas.] Teaching means I spend too much of my time grading and commenting on papers, but it also means I enjoy being home during Christmas break (although it is called “Winter break” now). I am even thinking about going back to school for a PhD. [The down side to this is that there are only 24 hours in a day, and I will need every one of them. Sleep? What is that?] I just need to figure out 1) how to pay for it and 2) how to find time for it.

And after two pages of bragging , our family wants to wish your family a very merry Christmas and happy new year. [Admit it, you thought it would NEVER end.]

Love,
Steve, Linda, Autumn, Amanda, Maxine and Justin Sherwood