Archive for » December, 2009 «

Outplaying the Puppetmaster

SurvivorsConfession: I watch Survivor, and I have since I became hooked in the very first season. And I just have to comment on the latest Survivor results, and Russell’s claim that Natalie didn’t outplay or outwit him.

He’s right; he outplayed and outwitted himself. Russell is the reason he didn’t win the $1,000,000.

Russell went into Survivor Samoa prepared to play a game, and everything he did was with that in mind. His strategy from the very beginning was to manipulate the emotions of those around him. The editing of the episodes worked for him as well. It was clear from the beginning Russell was being edited to be a villain. It wasn’t a coincidence that Jaison’s puckered feet and hands were the ones viewers saw. I’m sure he wasn’t the only one out there who had puckered skin, but a close up of Jaison’s feet made for better TV because viewers had already watched Russell burn Jaison’s socks.

Just like Russell was manipulating people, television viewers are manipulated by the editing of the show as well. The contestants are together and being filmed 24/7, but when an episode is being put together, the editing is designed to tell a story that will get the highest ratings.

OK, Russell burning Jaison’s socks really bothered me. I admit to being manipulated. I hated Russell when the show first began. He was arrogant and evil and sexist (Yes, his comment about the “dumb ass blonde” alliance thing bothered me as well, but it was supposed to — it was a great sound byte). But I could only go so many weeks of watching everyone else act like sheep around Russell before I started to admire the guy’s skill at playing the game.

And to Russell, it was just a game. He wasn’t on the show to make friends or have a life-changing experience. He had watched the show and thought he had developed a game-winning strategy. He told the cameras frequently that he was going to win and prove how easy it really was to win Survivor.

But Russell forgot that the Survivor television show is just that — a highly edited show. He developed his strategy watching the one-hour episodes and not realizing what goes on behind the scenes and how mind-numbing it can be to be stranded on an island for 24 hours. And when Russell developed his strategy to manipulate those around him, he failed to realize what his own psychological needs would be.

At the reunion show, Russell’s wife claimed that Russell isn’t really anything like what he was portrayed to be on the show, and I believe her. I don’t think Russell is really a villain, and he probably doesn’t lie and manipulate people in his real life. But other people playing Survivor did not go into the show thinking “it’s just a game.” Emotions and values were involved for a lot of the players. Plus, you put 16 people together and deprive them of food, warmth and a good night’s sleep, and you suddenly have 16 people at their very worst — they get snappy and snarky, which also makes for good television.

It was Russell’s close relationship with his wife that ultimately did him in. He probably discusses his plans and ideas with her at length. But when Russell was playing Survivor, he didn’t have her to confide in. He didn’t have her to talk to about his ideas and plans, and he NEEDED someone to talk with and admire his game playing.

He called himself the puppetmaster.. He studied the people he played with and learned exactly what he needed to do to manipulate them into the actions he wanted. He was often giggly and overflowing with pride about his latest manipulation or move. He didn’t hesitate to explain everything to the camera about his strategy, but the camera didn’t give him the instant feedback he needed. It didn’t give him the validation that he had came to depend on and usually received.

He forgot about his own psychological needs and his own strings. Russell would make a great play, and he KNEW the best plan would be to stay quiet about it, but he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. He went into the game planning to hide that he was a millionaire, but he confessed to both Mick and Natalie. Why? Because he NEEDED to tell someone.

Whenever he found a hidden immunity idol, he always told the camera, “I’m not telling anyone,” which really is the best strategy. But Russell couldn’t stay quiet about something so big. He had to tell someone. Pretty soon, the camera would show Russell going off with someone and showing them that he found the hidden immunity idol. Why? Because he needed validation. He wanted someone to be amazed by his prowess, and he absolutely needed someone to talk to about his strategy and accomplishments. And this need is what did him in.

Early on in the show, Russell was just amazed with himself. He couldn’t believe he found the hidden immunity idol without a single clue, and he had to tell someone. He was so proud of himself and so amazed he had to share, and the person he normally shared with (his wife) wasn’t around. At that point, Russell reminded me of a little kid who just learned to go potty by herself. That moment when a parent and a toddler celebrate over finally moving beyond the diapers is priceless. The child and the parent are just so proud, and as a parent, it is awesome to see your child’s eyes shine with pride at learning to be a “big kid.”

Russell’s eyes were shining, and it was easy to look at how proud of himself he was and be pleased for him. It WAS amazing that he found the hidden immunity idol without a single clue. But Russell needed validation. He HAD to tell someone if only to prove to himself that he really had it.

But soon, Russell’s pride grew a bit out of control, and he became arrogant. He thought he was so much in control of everyone else that he forgot other people have free will. It wasn’t enough to tell just one person. He started to tell multiple people while claiming he was sharing it with only that person. Russell forgot that other people talk to each other and share things.

Even when Natalie made her big play to get Galu to blindside Erik, Russell couldn’t give her credit. When she whispered to Russell what she had done — something he had not thought of himself — he dismissed her. He basically told her she didn’t do anything. I think that was a wake up call for Natalie. Until that moment, she may have thought Russell truly valued her as an ally, but his words dismissing her game play had to have stung. Just like Russell, everyone needs to have validation that they did good.

And by the final episode, when just Mick, Natalie and Russell were left, Russell was SO sure he was going to win the million that he just became disgusting to listen to. He still NEEDED to talk to someone and go over all of the angles and possibilities, but Mick and Natalie didn’t want to hear it. They had their own visions of dollar signs, and they wanted to enjoy it.

If Russell decides to be a part of the Heroes versus Villains show (and really, I don’t see him passing up the chance especially since he made several comments throughout the game that he needed competitors worthy of him), he would do well to think about his own needs for a sounding board and validation otherwise he’ll find that he just outplayed himself again.

Photo credit: http://www.cbs.com/primetime/survivor/

Category: Choppy Thoughts  Tags: , ,  2 Comments

The Christmas Letter

KidsMy niece is going to hit me because despite her prodding, I am still not writing a *real* blog post. Instead, I want to share with all of you my Christmas letter. Without further ado, here it is:

Merry Christmas from the Sherwood Family!

2009 was a perfect year for the Sherwood family. You will be happy to know that everyone is fantastic and fabulous and perfect in every way. [Obviously, this is sarcasm.] And if you believe that, you don’t know us very well.

In actuality, 2009 brought a lot of challenges to us. Most particularly, I had to learn what it was like to be a single parent since Steve spent a large portion of 2009 traveling for work. [He is still working for Exterran out of Gaylord. It only took me a year to figure out how to pronounce the name of the company.] He traveled to West Virginia a couple of times and once to Kentucky and Indiana as well as having to stay a week away every month. This really interfered with his hunting schedule, but he did manage to still shoot a buck.

We have a house full of very cute girls, which means our house is excellent boy bait. [Surprisingly, the boys were not that discouraged by Steve hauling his rifle around the house.] More than once, boys rode their bicycles more than 13 miles one way (even through summer storms) to visit. Luckily, most of those boys have now turned 16 and traded in their bicycles for cars and have determined that gas is too expensive to be driving to Merritt just for the view. [And that it is too cold to ride their bikes.]

All of the children have been active in sports throughout the year. This means that Steve and I spend most of our money at Dunham’s Sports buying shoes and at the local doctor’s offices having various injuries attended to. [This means Linda and Steve have been “active” sitting on benches watching lots of games. At times, all four children have games at the same time in different cities. It makes scheduling a bit of a nightmare.]

At 15, Autumn has her level one driver’s license , [But she doesn’t have a cell phone, which bothers her to no end] which means she is already planning the vehicle she wants us to buy her right down to the stereo. In other words, she is a teenager, which means she is delusional. Autumn frequently reminds me that she has just “three more years,” and she is out of here. There are days I think this is a bad thing, and there are other days (when Autumn and I have engaged in quite a bit of verbal sparring) when I think three years are way too long. [Not really, but it is good for a laugh.] Autumn sprained her ankle at her second basketball game, so she is on crutches.

Amanda, 14, is also recovering from an injury to her knee, but she isn’t letting it stop her from playing basketball. In between practicing free throws, Amanda’s basketball coach is working on Amanda’s pitching skills in preparation for the upcoming softball season. [Amanda does have a cell phone but Autumn is convinced that now that Amanda is 14, she will soon prove unreliable and will lose the phone as well.] After spending most of her softball years playing catcher and shortstop, Amanda surprised everyone with her prowess at the pitching mound. She expects to pitch quite a bit this upcoming season. One of Amanda’s favorite activities is playing her trumpet inches from her slumbering siblings’ ears in order to wake them up. [Obviously, this is NOT her siblings favorite things.]

It turns out that despite being 12 years old, Maxine still thinks she can cut her own hair. She loves her new contacts, and she doesn’t let her “fun size” stop her from aggressive play on the basketball court. [She even made the A team!] Even more important, Maxine shot her first deer. She took down a nice sized doe with a single shot on opening morning of the youth hunt. [And it was pure agony for her to wait a half hour before tracking the deer. We found it not far from where she shot it, and it was a perfectly placed shot.] She spotted the doe as it began getting light out, and she had a hard time waiting for full light , and there was no way she wanted to wait for a buck to show up. Patience is not one of her virtues.

Justin’s name was engraved on a plaque in the Houghton Lake Middle School after he won the fourth-grade spelling bee in May. [In the audience, his mother was more nervous than he was – the last two contestants spelled 17 words before the runner-up misheard the word making Justin the victor.] This is about the same time he decided to try playing with fire by burning toilet paper. The bathroom rug ended up with a few scorch marks and a nearby bottom became quite red as a result – I’ll let you figure that one out. Despite the influence of his sisters, Justin has finally decided to act like a boy. [This means he tends to avoid baths and thinks nothing of wearing the same clothes for days in a row.] Despite his bathing habits, he has managed to snare a girlfriend or two.

It seems I made the switch from journalist to college instructor at the right moment. The last paper I worked for before becoming a teacher closed despite a 120 year history. [It really wasn’t because I left.] I love my job at Ferris State University, and I continue to teach for Baker College Online as well. [You can’t beat a job that lets you work from home while wearing your pajamas.] Teaching means I spend too much of my time grading and commenting on papers, but it also means I enjoy being home during Christmas break (although it is called “Winter break” now). I am even thinking about going back to school for a PhD. [The down side to this is that there are only 24 hours in a day, and I will need every one of them. Sleep? What is that?] I just need to figure out 1) how to pay for it and 2) how to find time for it.

And after two pages of bragging , our family wants to wish your family a very merry Christmas and happy new year. [Admit it, you thought it would NEVER end.]

Love,
Steve, Linda, Autumn, Amanda, Maxine and Justin Sherwood

Blogging: Great Assignment Idea

I am a member of the WPA listserv, which is always a great source of ideas and information.

Recently on the list, one member shared an assignment idea that I thought was worth noting. It is something I’d be interested in using in the future.

Lynn Reid, an adjunct at City College of New York and Brookdale Community College, noted she asks students to create a blog in advocacy for an issue they are reading or writing about. The students are allowed to select their audience, content and format. She requires the students write a formal paper explaining why the student decided to create the blog the way they did as well as discuss how the contributions from the blog informed the larger conversation about the issue.

Reid lets students decide whether to create a real blog or to write a blog-style document.

Category: Lessons & Activities  Tags: , ,  Comments off

Delusional and Desperate

Or is it desperate and delusional? You tell me….

I am not the type of person that worries too much about the way I look. I don’t fuss. I don’t spend.

But that was before.

Before what, you ask? It was before I realized that I am getting old!

Why, it was just a few months ago that I fell in love with the new wrinkles around my husband’s eyes. They were cute, and I didn’t mention it to him, but they appealed to me in ways I could never fathom 20 years ago. I had been at his side while those wrinkles formed, and I loved that idea.

Plus, it was easy since my own eyes were still wrinkle-free.

OH, how SILENTLY SMUG I was about my own wrinkle-free eyes. The very same eyes that had recently started drawing unsolicited comments from complete strangers about the length and thickness of my eyelashes. And I did it all without Latrisse. OK, so I did it with a drug, but the longer eyelashes were just a side effect for my pre-glaucoma treatment. It wasn’t just to get longer lashes, so it is totally OK.

Oh the difference a few months makes!

My eyes are no longer wrinkle-free. I have wrinkles, but I think I could live with the wrinkles.

My problem? I have dark circles under my eyes. And there are days where I have these horrible bags under my eyes. I know, I thought I should just get more sleep, right? Wrong! I have been sleeping. Last night, I went to bed at 9:30 p.m. and slept until 5:30 a.m., and I did NOT want to get up, but I did because I’d slept. And still there are circles and bags under my eyes.

And I can’t get rid of them. I have bought concealer, and I am using it. I am “doing” my eyes in the morning in an effort to improve their looks. I even considered trying Preparation H, but do you know how badly that stuff smells? Eww. I did not want it on my face. I just kept imagining kissing someone and having them get a whiff of that stuff. Ick.

In searching for a cure, I found one dermatologist suggests I eat bananas and smile a lot. I can do that.

What really dismays me is that if I look in the mirror, my eyes look OK, but if someone takes a picture of me, I suddenly have these horrible brown circles under my eyes. I look tired. My eyes even FEEL tired.

And I am 38 suddenly worried about what the next few years will bring. I think my make-up free days are gone.

What’s more, I realize now that 1) I am vain, and 2) an eye-lift doesn’t sound nearly as insane as it did when I was in my 20s.

Category: Life with Linda  Tags: ,  2 Comments

It’s not a drive

…it’s a putt.

Or at least that is what my dad would say whenever he heard me proclaim that something was “driving me crazy.” The putt is a golf term (he had to explain this to me) and suggested that I was much closer to crazy than a drive….

And sitting in the passenger seat while your teenage child drives your vehicle can sometimes feel like you are just a putt away from crazy.

The first time I let her drive went pretty well. Except for one thing — whenever I would give her advice or correct something, she would respond with “I know.” I could have gone into a lengthy perturbed lecture about “if you know, why did you do it….” Instead, I let her know that it was my job to tell her things, and it was her job to listen. I suggested she say, “OK” instead of “I know.” And she agreed. This is good because I might have wanted to throttle her if she kept up the “I know” when she so clearly did not know.

The other day her dad was with us while she drove. She pulled out into the road too wide, and she went into the other lane although there was no reason to do so. She pulled back into her lane, but a car was coming form the other direction. Her dad panicked a bit. Hours later when it was just him and me, he admitted at how scared he was and how much that wide turn was still bothering him.

For the most part, she does pretty well. She isn’t good at right-hand turns. She wobbles within her lane (going back and forth but always staying within her lane), and whenever she tries to do something else, like turn on a blinker or the windshield wipers, she slows down. I’m sure this is partly because she is driving new to her vehicles, and she doesn’t know where everything is located.

For the most part, when she is behind the wheel it is uneventful. I am thankful for that. It is nice to be driven around, and we are both thinking ahead to the time when I will not have to be the one that leaves the house to go get children from practices and away games. It will free up so much of my time, and I wouldn’t mind at all.

My concern are those moments where she drifts too close to the center lane for my peace of mind…. GO RIGHT, GO RIGHT, GO RIGHT, I say loudly. Loudly she responds, “I AM. DON’T YELL.” And I wish I had one of those brakes on my side of the vehicle and that the steering wheel was closer in a minivan than it is. So far I haven’t grabbed the wheel, but those brief moments (less than 10 seconds total out of more than 5 hours of driving) is enough to make my heart beat fast and to have worried conversations with my husband.

I remember being a teen. I did not learn to drive stick easily. My parents didn’t even try to teach me. Instead, they left it to my brother and sent us out into the two-tracks behind our house in a beat-up truck. Eventually, I learned. But I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what Keith must have gone through having to sit in that seat next to me. It is easier, I think, when you are the one behind the wheel.

Me: It’s driving me crazy.

You: I thought it was a putt.

Me: It is now.

You: I know.

Me: Definitely a putt.

You: OK

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