Why Cats are better than Dogs

My current household population includes 3 dogs and no cats. Although, technically, one of our dogs doesn’t actually reside in our house. It is his choice. He is a beagle, and he prefers his kennel outdoors to our house. In fact, our house sort of freaks him out. Most of our floors are wood or tile, and he refuses to walk on wood and tile.

Once in a while, he forgets and will happily run into the house, but he stops cold at the welcoming carpet, refusing to budget one more step lest he have to step on *shiver* tile. If we pick him up and carry him into the carpeted living room, he will relax and enjoy his time indoors, but don’t expect him to go anywhere else. From his reaction, you would think asking him to follow you into the wood-floored kitchen to get a treat would be asking him to walk to the hangman’s noose. Needless to say, Spike stays outside most of the time.

But we do have two dogs that manage to survive the wood floors. Of course, the wood floor by the fridge usually sends Zeus’s back end sliding as he rushes to or from the front door. But Zeus doesn’t let a sliding rear-end phase him. In fact, I think he now plans the slide.

And now I have written a whole heck of a lot about my dogs, and I still haven’t even explained why cats are better.

I used to have a cat. His name was Mittens, and he was amazing. He had the sixth toe, which is why he was named Mittens. I worked at home, and he would stretch out on the back of my office chair or his preferred location — across my wrists. This was actually ideal for both of us — it forced me to keep my hands on my keyboard, which is about 60 percent of what I needed to do in order to get work done. His position kept my hands in place but still allowed me the freedom to type. I finished a lot of work this way. Plus, his fluffy body kept my hands warm, which was good because my fingers tend to get icy cold when I do a lot of typing.

But Mittens lived a long life and eventually, he died. He was missed. We tried to bring other cats into our home, but the new arrivals weren’t Mittens. One, an adorable kitten, died mysteriously shortly after we adopted her. The next adoptee, a half-grown cat, had kennel cough when we first brought her home. She stayed with us for a while until she decided she preferred to be a barn cat at the neighbor’s house.

Fast forward a few years, and we are a cat-free home. I decided I won’t find another Mittens any time soon, and our house isn’t really set up for ideal litter box placement. The place I prefer to keep the litter box is also right by the door we use regularly to enter our house, and I don’t like walking into my home and smelling the litter box deposits. Most of the time, the litter box is smell-free, but there are enough times that are not that I decided no more litter box, which meant, sadly, no more cats.

I still work at home at least three days a week, but my current home companions are not Mittens. Zeus and Lilly are an odd combination. Zeus is a giant chocolate lab that weighs well over 100 pounds. He is about twice the size of most labs. And then there is Lilly. She is a mini pin that weighs less than 5 pounds. Her entire body is smaller than Zeus’s head. They do not stretch out and keep my feet or wrists warm as I work. They do not help me keep my butt in my chair and my hands on my keyboard.

My work day starts with Lilly having a fit. The kids have just abandoned her to go outside to wait for the bus. This leaves Lilly all atitter. She runs full out from the front door to the window and back. Eventually, she settles in the window and howls and whines as she watches the children standing at the end of the drive. She remains there, crying pitifully, until the big yellow bus arrives. As the children board the bus, Lilly barks angrily.

While all of this is happening, Zeus is outside. Our invisible pet fence keeps him from actually joining the children at the end of the drive, but he watches over them. It is his duty, and he takes it seriously. About 10 to 15 minutes after the children leave, Lilly has calmed down and curled up. She goes back to sleep hoping this abandonment is just a bad dream. Zeus eventually finishes his protective prowl around our property and scratches at the front door. This is my clue.

I stop what I am doing and go to the front door to let Zeus in the house. Sometimes, this fails because Lilly decides to go outside and Zeus decides to stay outside with her. And then I go back to work, and I rarely get 5 minutes of work done before Lilly and Zeus are back at the front door, scratching to be let in. I really wish they wouldn’t scratch the door, but it has proven effective for them, and it is too late to change now.

The pair will come in and take up residence in the living room. I will start to work — again. This might last a half hour to an hour. Longer if Zeus decides to skip the living room and instead climbs the stairs to the girls’ room and goes to sleep on one of the beds up there.

If there is a slight noise outside, however, the peace in the home is shattered. Lilly gets frantic and works Zeus up into a lather as well. They gather in front of me, tails wagging, ears perked, and demand to be let outside. The world is in danger, and they must protect me! And so I let them outside.

In the summer, the pair were content to remain outside for hours. They would bask in the sun. It is no longer summer, but Lilly never remembers this until she is actually out there. Within seconds, the cold air has made Lilly forget that she needs to save the world, and she scratches on the door to be let in. I oblige.

Zeus is no where near the door, however. This means that in less than 10 minutes, I will have to once again go to the door to let him in. And sometimes within minutes, a vehicle goes by our house a little too loudly, and the demand to save the world starts all over again.

It is amazing that I am able to get any work done at all given the number of times I must get up to let the dogs in and out. It makes me realize how much nicer cats are especially when I am trying to keep my butt in the chair and my hands on the keyboard in order to get some work done!