I spent the weekend at a hotel with several other women to work on various activities for a group we all belong to.

After working all day on websites until our eyes crossed, we decided to spend some time in the hotel’s hot tub. We all went to our rooms and changed into our suits, and we walked down to the pool.

When we walked in, I overheard an old man sitting in the hot tub make a very strange noise. It was a high-pitched squeal.

Also in the hot tub were a couple, and as I walked past, I heard the old man explain to the couple the nature of his call. “It’s my whale call,” he said.

The man of the couple didn’t quite hear the old man correctly, but the old man didn’t hesitate to correct him. He made the odd noise again, and clarified, “It’s my whale call.”

It was obvious the man was talking about my group of women in his reference to whales. I wasn’t sure if anyone else in my group had heard the man, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to tell anyone else in my group what the rude old man had said.

In my right hand was a very full cup of red wine, and I was trying to figure out how I could pretend to stumble and dump my cup of wine on the man’s head. The hot tub was at a lower level than where we were standing, and I knew I could easily accomplish it.

But I couldn’t do it. I was at the hotel as part of a group that I didn’t want to smear. It took a lot of willpower not to dump my drink on his head. I probably wouldn’t have had the willpower if the man hadn’t had such an easy way to clean up if I had done it.

Later, I realized I wasn’t the only one in my group that had heard the man. Of the four us us, myself and one other person heard him. She was having the same internal debate whether to say something to the man or not, and she managed to keep her mouth shut.

We realized later the old man was by himself, and we had no trouble figuring out why the man was by himself.

But I wish I didn’t feel as if I had to be on my best behavior, and I would love to have reacted differently to that man’s totally rude behavior.