“Give me that.”
“No, it’s mine.”
Years ago I ditched my alarm clock. It wasn’t by choice. It was just that my children tended to wake me up a lot earlier than I ever planned to wake up.
But this morning I didn’t wake up the way I normally do. It wasn’t the cute little three-year-old with her face just inches from mine, demanding breakfast arousing me from my slumber. Nor was it the rather ripe smell of my two-year-old son’s diaper urging me to wake up. Both would have been preferable.
It was the sound of bickering sisters that woke me up from dreamland. As the shouting echoed through the house, I remembered rather sadly that today was the first day of Spring Break.
Exactly why it is called Spring Break escaped me as I tried to drown out the noise with my pillow. Unfortunately the screaming and shouting didn’t stop and it appeared to be getting closer.
With complete disregard to the sleeping members of the household, myself included, my two oldest daughters burst through my bedroom door demanding I solve the first dispute of the long vacation.
Despite my valant attempts to fend sleep, they continued arguing. As the din grew louder, I realized I had to end it quickly. If I didn’t, these two would wake up their younger siblings. The only thing worse than bickering sisters in the morning is a couple of preschoolers who haven’t had a full night’s sleep. Let sleeping bears, and preschoolers, lie.
I completely ignored the squabble and went directly to the matters at hand.
“This is the first day of vacation,” I said calmly. Flowers and sunlight oozed from my voice as I continued, “It’s supposed to be a time of fun and relaxation. It’s a special holiday and you’re sisters who love each other. Is this any way to behave?”
Apparently they weren’t listening to me. The sweetness and light wasn’t penetrating through their walls of indignation. As I continued to speak, a growl entered my voice.
“This is not the way I wanted to start the vacation,” I said. The rant had started. “I’m telling you right now it will not continue. Now march back into your room, crawl back into your beds and start this day over. If you cannot change your attitude….”
It was a good rant, but it didn’t work any better than the sweetness and light. Maybe I just wasn’t as good at communicating right after waking up as I thought I was. Whatever the answer, the bickering sisters didn’t understand what I was trying to tell them.
“But Mom, she….”
“No, I didn’t,” the other interrupted. “You….”
The dispute continued as if I wasn’t even in the room. I listened in amazement as the two dueled with their words. They were well armed. I watched as they brought weapons into play. It was the big one.
“I’m going to tell Mom and she’s going to put you up for adoption.”
I guess they had been listening to my threats. They are using them on each other. I clapped my hands and made both of them look at me.
“Actually,” I clarified. “I threatened to sell you to gypsies. Now stop this arguing and go get dressed.”
That of course, brought out the infamous But Mom Whiners, who seem to make special performances at my house on a daily basis. You know, they appear whenever you tell a child to do anything. Said child will look up at the ceiling, and say, “Bbbbuuuttttt, mMmmmoooooommmmm.”
By the time I got them straightened out and speaking to each other, it was 8 a.m. and the younger members of the household were awake and demanding food.
So much for a relaxing vacation. What do they call it spring break for anyway? Maybe I need to run away from home before summer break arrives….
Copyright © 2000 Linda Sherwood
