I am sick and tired of writing about my 14-year-old with boyfriend, and I am thinking all of you are too.

And so, I am going to blog about things my mother doesn’t understand (even though she is 70).

1. Any off-color innuendo. She doesn’t get it. And beware that she may ask for clarification very loudly.

2. How to set the clock on her VCR.

3. Anything to do with her computer. She can’t even explain to me what it is she is trying to do. Have you ever tried to help someone by phone when the person requesting the help says things like “I can’t do that thing I did the other day. How do I do that again?

4. That when she calls me at home, and I answer, she really should know the answer to her question, “Where are you at?”

5. How to answer her cell phone.

6. That when she calls me using her cell phone, even though she isn’t calling from her home, odds are very good that I am home when she calls me at my home and I answer. Again, this should be a no-brainer.

7. Why I laugh when she tells me her doctor tells her, “He says I am in good shape for the shape I’m in.” I bet. What shape is that? Triangle?

8. That when she asks me “what’s that girl’s name you went to school with?” She really shouldn’t expect an answer. Her “Not Nikki, but the other one,” doesn’t help much either.

And what I don’t understand…

That despite the fact that I went to school with hundreds of girls, I knew exactly who she was talking about.