Archive for » January 30th, 2008 «

My mother loves me (really)

Earlier this week I was reading Big Boned by Meg Cabot, which is part of a mystery series about an ex-rock singer named Heather who is slightly overweight (aka big boned). In the book, Heather is at the home of a college student talking to the student’s mother who admits she doesn’t get her daughter because her daughter is not a size 8 like the mom and other sister. (Seriously.) And there all kinds of things wrong with that sort of outlook on life, but it also reminded me of my relationship with my mom.

When I was young, (and skinny), my mom would tell me I didn’t eat enough to keep a bird alive.

Now, I am not skinny, and my mom no longer makes the bird comment. She has other comments, and the comments COULD hurt, but I have never let them because I understand. Plus, sometimes her comments come back to bite her.

For instance, in December, I was talking to my mom on the phone. She mentioned she had received her Christmas present from my older sister, Kari. The conversation went something like this:

Mom: Kari must think I’m huge. She bought me size 20 pants, and they are just too big.

Linda: (I have no idea what I said, but I think I asked if she tried them on. Isn’t it convenient how I remember her words and not mine?)

Mom:  They are huge. Maybe they will fit you.

*Crickets*

Linda: (while laughing) They are huge, and so maybe they will fit me? What exactly are you trying to say, Mom?

Mom: I didn’t mean it like that.

Linda: Oh? How did you mean it? That I’m huge and you aren’t? That I’m bigger than you? That I am fat?

Mom: (changes subject)

Fast-forward a few days to the Denton family Christmas with my brother and his family, my family and my mom.

Linda: Mom, you look nice. I like that outfit.

Mom: It’s my Christmas present from Kari.

Linda: Oh? You mean those are the huge pants? The ones you’ll swim in, but they might fit me?
And then I precede to tell my brother all about my mom’s inappropriate comments while totally harassing my mom because the size 20 pants fit her. And we both have fun harassing her. Poor Mom.

And she totally deserves it because her and Kari do not have thunder thighs. I think they would be considered apple shaped when I am definitely a pear. They have very tiny legs, but I inherited much meatier legs. It is not fair. I wanted the skinny thighs, but I don’t have the varicose veins my mom has either, so I guess I will just have to deal with it.

The longest notice ever

In December 2005, I first submitted my resignation letter to the editor of the Herald-News. I gave four weeks’ notice. I planned to attend grad school in January, plus I would be teaching, so I wasn’t sure how I would ever find time to be a reporter, too. I wanted to give the editor plenty of time to replace me. In a meeting with my editor and publisher, we decided I would continue to write for the newspaper as a part-time reporter.

In January 2006, I was teaching two classes, taking three grad classes and still working full-time as a reporter. Plus I had all of the regular parenting duties, and I couldn’t forget my husband either. However, if you did not live in my home, I didn’t see a lot of you, and you could forget about getting a phone call from me. I saw my minivan more than anyone else.

In May, I started my summer classes. I continued to work full-time for the newspaper, but I wasn’t teaching. I was camping, hauling my laptop with me and completing my homework as I sat in a lawn chair near the shores of Houghton Lake.

With 18 credits complete, and a GPA of about 3.9, (I had only one A- my entire grad school experience), I began taking two more grad courses in the fall along with teaching three classes. Plus, I was still working full-time at the newspaper although I was rarely in the office.

The newspaper finally honored my request to go down to part-time when they hired a new reporter in September 2006. With the addition of a new reporter, I no longer had a desk or phone at the newspaper’s office. I had certain beats I covered, and I submitted all of my things by e-mail. In November 2006, the newspaper hired a new editor. We discussed my arrangement, and we agreed I would continue part-time.

There were times when student papers needed grading, and my own homework was due, and my job at the newspaper was the lowest item on my priority list. I worried that I wasn’t the reporter I needed to be because on my long list of priorities, the paper was the lowest item. As time passed, through mutual decisions, I reduced my hours even more.

Around May 2007, my hours at the paper ranged from 5 to 12 hours a week depending on what else was going on. I met with the editor to consider what my job would entail. We talked again about me quitting, and the possibility of me just freelancing, but it was easier to keep me on staff with minimal duties. In June, I finished my thesis and defended it successfully. For most of July and August, I didn’t write for the newspaper at all because I was doing other things.

In August 2007, I began tutoring online, which meant I now had three part-time jobs. I also “officially” graduated with a master’s degree, so I no longer had to attend grad classes. My schedule felt deliciously empty by comparison to what it had been. I was still teaching three classes, and somewhere along the way I began tutoring at the college too, plus my advising duties.

Another thing happened in August 2007…. A story I had been covering since 2003 regarding budget problems and eventual contentious contract negotiations at my kids’ school had been resolved. The contracts were signed, the budget was back on track. I drafted a resignation letter to my editor at the newspaper and saved it to the drafts folder of my inbox. I wanted to send it, but I also wanted to help out by doing what I could do.

With my newly printed degree, I began searching for full-time positions. I’m still looking, and I am excited about the possibilities. I am also continuing to learn and expand. In January I began training to teach online for a second college, and I was finally able to give up the newspaper. January had been a busy month for me, and I hadn’t written very much this month for the newspaper. As of this week, it is official. I am no longer a staff reporter. On Tuesday, I stopped by the state police post and the school board to let my regular sources know I am no longer covering their beat. Both commented on how happy I seemed to be, and I am. I am excited about teaching, and the new direction in my life.

I will still write, and I don’t think I will stop reporting, but I want to focus on freelancing rather than writing for my local paper. I also want to finish that book I’ve been working on.

The transition from staff reporter to college teacher is finally complete….

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No School again!

For the second day in a row, school has been canceled, but Steve still has to go to work. The rest of us are home eating muffins and trying to stay warm while a few of us are still in their pajamas. I, however, am dressed.

Over 200 schools in northern Michigan canceled today. It is rare to have two days in a row off.

I promised Steve yesterday I would make a “real” meal if school was canceled today. It involves cooking lasagna or meatloaf.

Being home with the children means being asked 20-million times, “Now?” and “Now can we?” mixed in with “Mom, please?” and “Mom, I luuuuvvv yooou.” All of which translates to, “Can we get on the computer?”

This is a highly organized activity that involves close attention to the clock. It involves figuring out who gets on first and which computer they use. (We have two desktops the children are allowed to use. The laptops are not up for grabs.)

And it drives me crazy to hear twenty-million times. Today, I vowed no one would get on a computer before noon, and I have five more minutes. I didn’t tell them that, but it is my goal. They are even asking the dogs.

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