Yesterday was a bad Monday. I had planned on working from home all day, but that ended with an e-mail. The e-mail required me to drive an hour one-way to take care of an issue that ended up being not my issue, although it has plagued me all summer.

And so hubby came home yesterday, and I was telling him all about it, and I noticed his eyes glazed over. OK, I can understand he might not be that interested, and I even recognized that. In response he said something about it (and now I can’t remember exactly what he said, but it was the WRONG thing) not being his concern. OK, I didn’t take that comment well. I was a bit perturbed that me telling him about my job wasn’t his concern. I thought I was his concern. So I shut up and walked off. And then a little while later I made snide comments to a child talking to her dad about the child might as well not bother since it isn’t her dad’s concern.

I know, I am so mature, right?

And Steve then said he probably said the wrong thing. (You think?) And I didn’t admit that I probably reacted badly. (You think?) So, Steve was the bigger person in that one.

And we kind of left it alone for a bit. Oh, and there was also the “why isn’t dinner ready” thing. That should have been my first clue. I hate the little dance we do about why isn’t dinner ready when I’ve been working all day and so has he, but it is my responsibility to cook dinner and have it ready when he arrives home, although I never really know exactly when that time will be, although he calls me to say he is on his way home, but first he is going to his parents’ house. He thinks he is cluing me in so I can start cooking dinner and have it ready for him. I, however, hear he is going to his parents’ house and think that he could be home anywhere from the next 5 minutes to two hours from now. So I usually wait to cook until he actually walks in. So when he does come home, and dinner isn’t even started, he gets a bit miffed. And then I get miffed that he is miffed.

So we’d been together yesterday about an hour and spent most of that huffy towards one another. It wasn’t the best set up. Although on the upside, this is the first time we’ve been huffy to one another in quite some time. But back to last night.

After dinner, he is on the computer and looking for jobs because he has been looking for jobs for himself for more than two years. He wants something better. And yes, that’d be nice, but this is northern Michigan with Michigan in a recession. You aren’t going to find anything better here, but he refuses to consider moving either. (OK, I am really touchy about this whole job thing.)

And while he is searching for him, he sees a job that he thinks I should apply for because it is full-time, close and offers good benefits. The job starts in October, which won’t work for me since I start teaching next week and that will continue until December. He pushes. Even though the pay is low, he figures the benefits are worth it. He then figures out that what I make teaching based on a 40-hour work week will equal what I would make at the job he wants me to apply for, and there’s benefits.

Except teaching at the college doesn’t require me to work 40 hours a week. Plus, I also have several other things going on, and in addition to my time teaching, I have another 20-25 hours scheduled doing other work, and so I will actually make more than I would at the job he wants me to apply for, and I will do it in less time. It’s a schedule that works around my family. The job would require me to work weekends and evenings, something I don’t have to do now and that I don’t want to do. And I became frustrated that he didn’t see it.

If I applied for the job he wanted me to do, and IF I were hired, the job doesn’t start until October. I need to make money in September, so I would still be doing everything I plan on doing. And in October, I would end up with a full-time job and four part-time jobs. And I can’t do that. And I can’t say no to everything I plan now in order to free myself up for a job I might not get in October. And it’s not even a job that I WANT to do.

The thing is, he knows that. I suggested applying for a full-time reporting job earlier this summer, and he told me no because that isn’t what I want to do. But now, he is stressed about money and the fact that I don’t have a full-time job, and with my shiny new degree comes shiny new loan payments. It’s not as if I’m not applying for jobs. I am. Although last year, before I graduated, I only applied for one full-time job, and I should have broadened my search.

Personally, I think that we need to move to an area where there are decent jobs, but he won’t move. And I won’t apply for the stupid job. And we are both frustrated. And yesterday, we were both in a mood. And I hate that.

And your eyes are glazed over because this isn’t your concern. Ah well.

Thanks for playing.