Maxine: I have to be at school tomorrow at 7:15 a.m.

Me: Your fourth grade trip is tomorrow? tomorrow?

Maxine: Yes. And you have to pick me up at 9 p.m.

Me: OK.

Maxine: If you are 15 minutes late, Mrs. (name removed) is going to call 911. Then the police will have to take me home and you will get written up.

Me: Oh really? Written up? For what?

Maxine: Yes, for not taking care of me.

Me: That’s not quite how it works, but OK. 9 p.m.

Maxine: (under her breath) Yes, it is. Written up.

—-

I’m in the kitchen making coffee and it is about 6:20 a.m. Steve just came downstairs after waking up the girls.

Steve: Maxine has to be at school at 7:15 this morning?

Me: Oh &%$#. I forgot. I’ll take her.

– Steve actually ends up taking her since he has to be at work at 7:30 am., and so only had to leave a little bit early to drop her off in time. And, as he pointed out, I’d waste gas if I took her and at $3.24 a gallon, we don’t want to waste gas. –

—

I sit next to Steve as he puts on his socks this morning.

Steve: So they’re going to be flat when I come home?

Me:

Steve gestures towards my chest.

Oh, that’s right. Today I am having a mammogram. They won’t be flat, right? Right?