Linda Needs…

I was reading Joshilyn’s blog and she is doing a meme that sounded fun, and so I am doing it too.

To do it, you go to www.google.com (or your favorite search engine) and enter your name + the word needs in quotation marks. The mystical wisdom of Google.com then gives you a Magic 8 type fortune reading. For instance, my name is Linda, so I typed in "Linda needs" and then I ended up with the following results:

Linda needs to be a part of a loving, committed marriage (why yes, I do, which is why I am so happy that I am.)

Linda needs mental help (that could be argued but I’ll pass for now)

Linda needs a new best friend (No. I have the best best friend (Steve), and won’t need a new one. Although I had been in need of some more really great girl friends, but that has been happening, so I’m good.)

Author Linda needs help (Umm. Yes. Thanks. This one actually comes from urban dictionary and continues with something about "when a woman undos her pants and takes off her panties….)

Linda needs as much free space at the front of the platform as possible (Do you know something I don’t know? Am I going to pass out?)

Linda needs a mom of a kid who had transient tics (Bwahaha! This is actually a call out for article help. Maybe I will be channelling Teri Brown soon!)

Linda needs to be helped to postpone big decisions until she is at the …. (at the what? Come on, don’t leave me hanging here!)

Linda needs to drop by home and pick up her congo drum to be refaced (I have a congo drum? I really do need to help the girls declutter their room.)

Linda needs an accurate headcount both of the individuals planning to dial in and of the …. (Does this have something to do with my fear that my mom’s tendency to lose children is hereditary? Did I ever tell you about the time my mom left my brother Keith at the store and did not notice he was missing? Mom blames Keith. He should have had a big mouth like my sister, Dee…..)

Linda needs to direct people from the stage (OK. Um.)

Linda needs to see if she can manage to write a bigger payment check this month (I’m sure I can, but let’s see if someone else can write Linda a bigger paycheck first.)

Linda needs the money, too, we say. (Why, thank you.)

Linda needs to find $50 or $100 each month. (That works for me.)

Linda needs to change her oil more frequently. (Linda doesn’t change her oil. Steve changes the oil.)

And then I skipped a bunch including some more about the platform and found this one…

Linda needs to lose some weight (you bet!).

There were way too many of the following, although they were probably accurate:

Linda needs help.

And there was even one that was

Linda’s needs were so great that no one organization could help her on their own.