Now that it’s all official, I can mention it — I am going to NYC!

That’s right. And when I’m there I plan on meeting Lani Diane Rich. She even gave me her cell phone number and hotel where she’ll be at! That way, I’ll know where she is so when I go into a bookstore to forge, er sign, her books, I won’t have to worry about running into her. It may have been OK to do in Michigan when I was sure she wouldn’t show up, but with her being in the same city, a girl’s got to be careful. And if I’m on my Best Behavior, Lani will get drunk with me. Or at least introduce me to some drinks that are a bit more unusual than my usual order of Bud Light in a bottle. I am such the trend setter, no?

OK, back to NYC. I need help. First of all, this will be the first time I’ve ever flown in an airplane. Yes, I’m serious. Really, no, I haven’t. I’ve traveled to most of the continental US states, but all of that traveling was using the Interstate Highway system, not planes, or for that matter, not trains either. Stictly automobiles. And campers, er motor homes.

Now, I will be going to the College Media Adviser’s Spring Convention, Mar. 16-18. (If you are a burgler, don’t add my house to your list of places to knock off because although I will be gone, there will still be people inhabiting my home, not to mention the four dogs including the tiny ferocious one and the big scary one).

So, I’ve been looking up what I need to do to make it through Airport Security, aka the beefed up post 9-11 Airport Security. But I don’t think NetFunny.net, and PoliticalHumor.About.com are really going to offer the kind of information I’m looking for. For that matter, www.aa.com isn’t that much help either.

For instance, I was reading up on carry-on bags, because I’ve watched Meet the Fockers. I know everyone truly in the KNOW knows they don’t check their luggage. Or was that Guess Who? I’m getting my meet the parents movies mixed up, but that’s not the point. The point is that I know I need to try to cram in all of my stuff into one carry on piece of luggage. Right? Right. Well, 1.5 pieces of carry on since I can also claim space in Steve’s right? Plus, I will rethink my whole view of carrying a purse because it turns out they don’t count as Carry Ons, and I know my mom has some seriously large roomy purses.

So I was reading the guidelines for determining a carry on. It has to weigh less than 40 pounds and measure less than 45-inches. And I was thinking that’s pretty generous. That’s when I continued reading and realized the 45-inches was based on measuring the height+length+ width. So if I were to have bought that 21-inch pilot’s bag, would it have worked? I don’t know. You’d like to THINK so, but without a measuring tape, it might just be a big mistake.

Luckily, the plane will also not count our winter coats as carry on items, which is GOOD since it IS March in Michigan, and that translates to still possibly WINTER.

Now I know where I’m staying. And when I’ll get there. (Hubby is going too.) There will be trips to the local media outlets. But I’m more worried about how I’ll get from LaGuardia to the Roosevelt Hotel and back, and not putting another mortgage on my house trying to pay for the taxi/shuttle. If a shuttle van charges $15 one-way per person, how does that compare to what a taxi would charge? What is the mathematical equation for that one?

I could have gone to NYC by the way of Georgia, BTW. I thought about it because it could give me an excuse to make AGK come to the airport and see me. BUT I figured I was just going to tell her that’s what I’m doing, but not really do it. She has some type of aversion to Michigan. Did I mention I don’t think her brother is really moving there? So, AGK, please stop reading at this point. I’ll see ya in Georgia soon, Sugar.

Now, for everybody else but AGK, I’m not going to take the route to GA. It was 6 plus hours, and one was even an overnight stay. NO. I am going to take the nonstop flight from Detroit to New York City and back. Don’t tell AGK. I also have a window seat. That is, unless Steve tries to steal it.

Steve was thrilled to learn that when I booked the flight, I took advantage of squeezing every possible moment in NYC. For instance, we will be boarding the plane on Friday at 6:10 a.m. Steve said, "You do realize you’re supposed to arrive hours before that because of security, right?"

And he was nearly jumping out of his skin with excitement when I let him know we wouldn’t be departing NYC until 8 p.m. or so on Sunday, which puts us back in Detroit by 10 p.m. or so. Which would be lovely, really, if you don’t consider the four-plus hour drive north to our real home. He was so excited to learn we’d arrive around 3 a.m. or so. Apparently he has no confidence that I will have any money left by Sunday. "So I guess I should take Monday off from work too," he said.

And about that carry on thing? How am I going to fit gifts for four kids in my carry on luggage? Maybe I’ll just have to claim the rest of Steve’s .5 piece. Maybe, I can convince him to carry a "merse" (men’s purse). Or I could just give him a briefcase. They’re free too.

So, if you are reading this and you CARE for me, and you can offer BETTER advice than what I seem to recall from the movies, feel free to do so. Because I am a NYC Virgin. I’m sure Lani will be thrilled to hear she’ll be breaking my ch…..  (Can’t go there. This is a G-rated blog. Primarily because my MOM reads this stuff.)

Thanks for playing. AGK, see you in GA!