I remember elementary school and exactly how mean little kids can be just by using their words. But I had no idea what I’d have to try to deal with on Wednesday night as I was tucking my little guy into bed.
All four of my children go to the same elementary school. It’s K-5, and there’s about 100 students and four classes. Most of the classrooms have a mix of grades. There’s K-1, 1-2, 3-4 and 4-5. I have a child in every single one of these classrooms. I’ve had a child in this school for the last six years. I know everyone there and they know me.
So I was a bit shocked on Wednesday when my son told me about something happened at school and I had no idea. I was blindsided.
Earlier in the day, as we were all unwinding from our day, the girls told me about an incident at recess. Apparently Justin had been chasing a little girl (also a kindergarten student) and although she asked him to stop chasing her, he didn’t. The girl started to cry.
My girls’ were upset about this. They told the story repeatedly. Talking to me, each other and Justin about it. Two of my girls even made cards for the little girl apologizing for their brother the insensitive brute.
I didn’t think much of it. Justin didn’t have much to say about it. His sisters said plenty though. It wasn’t a big deal. But it was the talk of the evening at my house by his sisters.
So I wasn’t surprised when at 8 p.m. as I tucked Justin into bed, he told me he hadn’t had a good day today. But still I asked him what had happened that bothered him.
That’s when he told me a fellow kindergarten student had told Justin he was going to bring a knife to school the next day and, at this point, Justin made a slashing motion across his neck. The threat was against Justin.
A kindergarten student threatened my son’s life! Violently.
Justin was upset as he told me about it. He said his teacher heard the threat and had reassured Justin that the student wouldn’t be going to school on Thursday.
But I was never called. And this was the first I heard about it.
I talked to him a bit, but I felt blindsided. I was operating on instinct, and I would have appreciated a heads up so I could have thought about what to say, etc.
I asked Justin what had caused the remarks, but Justin just shrugged his shoulders. I made a comment about how I thought he was friends with this little boy, and Justin said, "We were, but not anymore."
The next day, I called the school and spoke to the principal. She was quick to reassure me that the student who made the threat was disciplined. But that wasn’t really my concern.
Maybe I’m being too naive, but I really don’t see this kid being able to smuggle a knife to school and carry out his threat. Yeah, he might not come from the best home, but he’s also in kindergarten.
But I was very upset that the school never called to tell me about it. I spoke to the principal a bit more, and let her know the student’s punishment wasn’t really my concern. I just wish I’d have been prepared for the late-night stunner my son told me.
The principal did ask me if Justin was reluctant to come to school yesterday, but he wasn’t . He knew the student wouldn’t be there and there was a Pajama day party. But this morning? Justin didn’t get dressed right away and he tried to get out of going to school saying his belly hurt. That’s unlike Justin.
I did get a phone call from the teacher apologizing for not calling me about the incident.
I’m still stunned. I’m still trying to figure out how to talk to my son about this without making it out to be too big of a deal. I want him to be comfortable going to school. And more than 24-hours later, I still feel blindsided, wishing I’d been able to handle my son’s revalations a bit better.
And I did find out about what caused the threat. Apparently Justin was standing on something that belonged to the student as they were getting their winter stuff on. I’ve seen the kids get ready to go outside. Stuff is everywhere. It’s probably impossible to not step on something. Justin said he didn’t mean to step on anything, and he said his teacher told him he didn’t do anything wrong.
I don’t know where I’m going with this. How do you explain something to a 6-year-old when you don’t understand it yourself?










