Last weekend I went out Saturday night with the hubby, the in-laws and the neighbors. Just a nice meal at a small bar in a place that is even more BFE than where I live. But it’s a nice place. Well, except the bathroom, which is old and stinks like an old bathroom. Mildewy, old 1950s smell. But that’s not why I’m blogging.
No, I’m blogging because I want to declare that I do NOT act like the mother of 4-year-old twins who was at the bar when I have a Girl’s Night Out. I have to put that in writing. Now the lady was very nice and she was definitely feeling no pain if you know what I mean. She came out of the bathroom and sat down at our table and introduced herself. She explained she liked meeting new people and she was out and about after spending most of her time caring for her 4-year-old twins.
She was fun and nice. And I can definitely sympathize with a mom who needs some time away with the girls. I could relate. Especially when part of the reason she didn’t want to go back to her table was there was a guy there hitting on all of her married friends who just couldn’t take the hint these women were married and unavailable. So she sat down with us, three couples and chatted.
Turns out she has been doing a lot of stepping out lately. (Keep reading it gets better, I swear.) Last weekend she rode a live bull. So did her sister-in-law. They both bruised. The SIL had a bad bruise, oh you should see it. She hollers across the bar to the SIL who comes over. “Show them your bruise.” So the SIL walks over and starts undoing her pants. She shows the bruise, which is on her inside of her thigh, along with her underwear. OK, I’d never do that.
But we get a big laugh out of it. But the bigger laugh is this 38-year-old mother of two before she calls over her SIL is demonstrating how she rode the bull. Now she’s sitting between my MIL and my FIL with one hand in front of her as if she’s holding onto whatever you hold onto when you ride a bull and she starts rocking back and forth, getting the hips going, ya know? Which is amusing in itself.
But it couldn’t compare to my FIL’s reaction. He saw her start to bump and grind and he immediately turned away, putting his back to her. He just couldn’t watch and I think he was a bit surprised, and of course he didn’t want to make MIL mad by watching. I laughed at him so hard tears came to my eyes. It was no surprise later when this woman put her bare butt on the pool table to distract someone making a shot and even later flashed her breasts. OK, so I was surprised. But you know what I mean.
Despite these brief moments of nudity, the woman really was very nice. She definitely gave us something to talk about. She also invited me to play pool with her and her friends and someone gave me a shot of something that was apple caramel something or other. It tasted very good at the time, but the next day my head was huge and loopy. It must have been the caramel apple thingy and couldn’t have possibly been the Bud Lights. Totally ruined my plans for working on the house Saturday. I’ve never had a hangover before, so I was a bit surprised the next day. Still it wasn’t an aching head, it was just a serious case of light-huge-wobbly-head-edness.
The group of women did attract men. Another guy got them to talk to him by putting his quarters on the pool table and playing the winners. He was definitely looking for something. At one point standing next to me, he bent over and kissed the top of my head. I didn’t know he was going to do that or even that he had done it until he apologized, which he did right away. I thought he’d just bumped my head. That’s when I told him he should apologize to my husband and I pointed him out. Luckily, my hubby didn’t see the guy do that. The guy must not have realized he was playing pool with was my FIL. It was very weird though.
In the home improvement department, little progress was made on our house. However we did build a bigger better dog house. The floor of the old dog house finally rotted out this week. The new one is insulated. The dogs still aren’t in it yet. We had to stain it and allow it to dry first.
